Realms have been written on what goes inside the mind of a woman when you are dating. You seem to be having a fascinating evening as far as appearances go, when you are rudely jolted by the fact of a door being closed firmly in your face without so much as a good night kiss. Perhaps it was something you did, said or even looked like. To put guys out of any further misery, here is a list of ten common ways guys scare away women unintentionally.
Looking like something the cat dragged in
Ok, so you are all for casual dressing but even the most laid-back of women won’t appreciate a date who turns up in tattered jeans and a worn-out T. Women in general are prone to scrutinizing appearances minutely and reading volumes in what they see. So if you think sporting a two-day stubble on your face and reeking of cigarette smoke is being sexy, you better have another thought coming. In fact, it is extremely likely that she will take you for a lazy slob or an unemployed slacker. If you don’t want scare away your partner, be sure you are well-groomed for your date – don’t have body odor and come dressed like a gentleman.
Turning up with an extravagant gift
Some guys mistakenly think that they can totally impress a woman if they turn up with an extravagant gift for a date. More likely than not she will be embarrassed at your over-the-top gestures and at worst, she is likely to get suspicious of your real intentions and feel that you are trying to buy her affections. So keep the gift-wrapped diamond brooch or an exotic arrangement of orchids for the time when you are in a steady relationship with a woman and wish to celebrate a special occasion. For the first few dates at least, keep it subtle on and let your gifts convey your thoughts for the person rather than be an excuse to show off your finances.
“So how many men have you slept with”
Believe it or not, there are many guys who come up with a question like this in a misplaced attempt to appear funny or liberated; when in reality, by asking this, you will be showing insecurity about your sexual prowess. Also, she is apt to think that all you want to do is sleep with her tonight or maybe you are fishing so as to find out whether or not she is sexually available.
Making yourself the centre of discussion
A guy who can only talk about himself, his own achievements and ambitions for the future is hugely boring. If you really want girls to be interested in you, try asking them about their favorite pastimes, their friends or the best vacation that they ever took. For the same reason, avoid the temptation to preen yourself every time you pass a mirror or manage a not-so-secretive sneak onto the polished surface of a plate. No matter how much you love yourself, remember you are out with a girl and she might be scared off by your vanity and self-obsessed behavior.
‘Let’s get drunk/wasted/hammered tonight”
This is more in the vein of a teen who is desperate to have a good time before heading back to his digs. But if you are an adult, it could make a woman think that you have not been able to let go of your juvenile notions of ‘fun’ and worst of all, you have no control over yourself. So despite trying your best to liven up the evening, saying things like this could make your date grab for her purse and leave.
Checking out other women
Many men are not aware that they do this and yet checking out other females when on a date is one of the top turn-offs for women. If you are out on a date with a particular girl, it indicates that you have chosen to give her your attention and time. On the other hand, if your partner finds you perpetually distracted in her company or ogling at other girls in the pub or restaurant even while sitting with her, she is bound to be scared away by your potential for philandering.
Cribbing a lot
OK, so life has handed out a rough deal to you; but then who is completely spared of misfortunes. Therefore try not to burden your peeves and disillusionments on your partner or you will scare her away with your whining. It is natural for you to look for a woman who will share your troubles, but if you go on and on about your wretched boss or greedy ex-wife, you are sending the message that you are always looking to blame others for your troubles. Also remember that she expects to be a lover in a relationship, not your therapist.
Disparaging her job
Granted that you are taking home a six-figure pay or even come from a family where all the women are alumni of Ivy League colleges, but this doesn’t mean that you run down your date’s job. By suggesting that her pay is peanuts and she should quit you will only come across as a snob and in the process scare her away. For all you know, she probably enjoys her job, and if she’s studying, the income would help her.
Trying too hard
You probably know that women are looking for guys who are sensitive, responsible, and financially responsible, with a sense of humor as well. However don’t try too hard to make yourself appear the guy she’s looking for. This may lead her to suspect that you are trying too hard to win her and this will scare her away. Instead focus on expressing your qualities through actions; also women are more wired to emotions, therefore it is how you act and make her feel that will determine her interest in you.
Saying “I told you so”
No one wants to hear this, least of all someone who you are dating. If she has goofed up by doing something you had warned against, simply be quiet and she will get the message. Better still, offer her your support and find a way to fix the problem. Saying ‘I told you so’ at such a time will make you come off as insensitive and insufferable and it is unlikely that she will have anything to do with you again.